But you do occasionally ruin my day, my week, my month; offer me countless sleepless nights and do not agree with me when I tell you to be optimistic.

I believe we have all said at a point or another that something gives us anxiety, well this little friend has multiple facets, many levels and can wreck you in ways you do not expect. The crisis we are facing at the moment is something that affects our mental health in more ways than one, but for someone anxious by nature, every little thing can absolutely screw up their day. I am by no means alone in this, women are twice more likely to be affected by anxiety to a certain degree, and it is estimated that around 40 million people are affected worldwide. Well that’s a big number. Anxiety doesn’t mean that I need to go to therapy and be medicated, though in some cases it means that and it’s alright. It can, however, just mean that a situation is presented to me and I think of all the possible ways it might go wrong and find solutions to them to calm myself. Or that I analyse a decision and its pros and cons to an inch of their life before I actually go on and act upon that decision. These are only two of the most common coping mechanisms I have and the current crisis wrecked any possible reality I might have had on this planet without thinking of the worst.

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My friends usually know me as a person with a bubbly, optimistic personality, but I am optimistic mostly because I know it can be incredibly worse than this, and I ran that scenario through my head already and I have a solution prepared in the unlikely event that it happens the way I predicted it. Have I been born with anxiety? Probably. Have I developed it over the years? Most likely. Has the current crisis accentuated the general feeling of anxiety? Most definitely yes.

1 in 10 people live with a mental health disorder globally(that is according to this website), and that is around 792 million people, which is a lot, considering how many countries don’t recognise mental health issues as an actual issue. It’s the most prevalent mental health disorder around the globe, yet how many of us have ever requested a day off because of it? How many of us were granted a day off because we had a panic attack, or were nearing one? How many of us requested a day off to be with themselves because they felt the anxiety mounting and knew this will make them less likely to be good at their job? I know very little people who have ever requested any of the above, and I am not one of them. I’ve never taken a mental health day in my life, and I don’t even know if that is a possibility, which is a sad fact to deal with constantly.

This is of course a personal facet of anxiety that I experience on a daily basis, I have a lot of coping mechanisms that help me deal with the fear of something(whatever that may be) going [incredibly] wrong and usually it is just a side of my overthinking every.single.little.thing. When someone battles with anxiety, it can sometimes look like they are panicking a bit too much, and it’s true, thinking of all the possible ways something could go wrong shows at least a bit of panic, but finding the solution to all those possible scenarios is a strength, and most of the time a coping mechanism for most. I calm myself knowing that I have the solution, I repeat a mantra in my head that I can do it, whatever ‘it’ is and I go through the situation in an optimistic way. However, I count myself lucky among the anxiety friends out there. I have a psychotherapist mother who even in her mum role gives me the advice I need without me asking for it. I have an incredible group of friends who I can share this with, and we can laugh at ‘How on Earth did I think that could possibly happen?’, among other things. I also have a fantastic support network I can always count on, no matter how many weird scenarios I might have thought of to put me back into reality and listen if I need to. But what happens for those of us who do not count themselves as that lucky on this planet? How can we be closer to those dealing with a lot of pressure on their mental health, anxiety or not in these trying times?

1. Listen

For me personally, listening helps. Yeah, I will complain, and yes the situation is less than ideal for each one of us, but if I say something negative because this is how it makes me feel, just listen. Think of ways whatever you say can impact the way I feel, if any uncertain situation is extra-accentuated by what is going on. Understand that I thought of most solutions already, but I feel the need to share the stuff that is going on. Don’t accuse me of panicking, maybe phrase your sentence differently, pay attention to those words you use because they might hurt more than you can expect, or might send me in a spiral of overthinking.

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2. Find distractions

In the most mundane of tasks. I have discovered a new love for knitting and making lists. They calm me down and going through the tasks written on those lists, no matter how small helps centre my brain on something positive. I got out of bed [check], I brushed my hair and had a really relaxing bath [check], I did my nails today [check], I read 10 pages of that book I don’t really like [check-check and check]. These are obviously incredibly small tasks one can take, and the amount of distraction varies from one person to another, but savouring these little things can lead to you being able to to bigger things.

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3. Use that support network

Some days I don’t feel like getting out of bed, while other days I’m the most bubbly person you’ve ever met, and the problem is that these two situations can be seen in the space of a few hours, depending on how my brain has calmed down. These mood swings are normal, especially now, however, these mods swings can sometimes be influenced by the people I talk to and what I talk to them about and how they react to what I say. I am incredibly lucky to have a great support network who knows when I need a reality check, a solution or just a shoulder to cry on and a pat on the back. They are not many people, but they are some of the most important in my life, and I cannot thank them enough for just existing. If you have at least one of these people in your life, call them. Tell them, you just want them to listen for half an hour and pour down everything that’s scaring you and causing all those shitty feelings to build up. If you feel there is nobody in your group of friends or relatives that is like that, writing helps. Let your mind wonder, and write every.single.thing that is going through your head that makes you feel like shit or that wrecks your energy and mental health. Let those words pour down on the paper and then rest. Once you feel a bit more relieved, break those pages and repeat this for as long as you need. You are stronger than those fears, and breaking the proverbial page or pages of your fears means breaking up bit by bit with these things that are scary.

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4. Allow yourself to have bad days

Yes, it is hard. It’s one of the hardest things ever to just allow yourself to have a shitty day, Mohave a day when your productivity is a zero, when you don’t get out of bed, when you don’t change from your pyjamas and have cereal at all meals of the day. It’s hard, but allow yourself this little bit of peace. It will do you good. Take it easy, if you feel you are going crazy after an hour, see how much of an effort you feel like putting in, maybe today is not the day when you do absolutely nothing, but maybe it is the day when you only feel like watching cat videos on youtube, and that’s the first step. Tomorrow will be better and you might be able to change out of those pyjamas. The day after you will clean your room a bit, or read a bit more from that book you’re not sure you like. The day after that will be even better, and so on until you get back to your usual self. We put a lot of pressure on ourselves to succeed, and be incredibly productive and do 463827482 things at the same time, but sometimes we just need to allow ourselves a conscious break. It does us an enormous amount of good, but we rarely allow it.

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5. Have something to look forward to

Living with anxiety means that I always pre-prep and organise everything in advance. There is not much left to absolute ‘chance’ in my diary because it’s uncertain and I don’t know how to deal with that, so my place of adding things out of my comfort zone, to push myself a bit is to have something that I have postponed doing because I dislike the activity mixed with something I enjoy doing. Like a reward system for myself. I don’t like filing my taxes, because let’s be real it’s annoying, but I really enjoy organising my paperwork and the thought of a job well done, so my reward for filing the taxes online, is leaving some extra time to colour code and organise the papers. It sounds a bit insane as an example, but it calms my brain and makes me postpone the task a bit less. On any given day try to have something you look forward to to get you through the harder tasks. It can be something as simple as a home-cooked meal at the end of a difficult work day, or your favourite re-run after a long meeting.

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All these ways of working seem small, but look at what helps you most. The advice online  is quite specific to the person writing about it, but if you are unsure and feel the need to talk, write to this address, there is always an unknown small blogger who will listen. If that’s not a comfort, for the UK, use the Samaritans service (116 123) which offers a 24-hour service any day of the week, month or year. If you only need a breathing exercise or a repetitive image to calm you down, try the app Calm, it helps a lot of people meditate and/or sleep and might improve your focus and calm the thing that is bugging you. Finally, if you are looking for something to bring you some more mindful living options, try HeadSpace or add a bullet journal to your day and see how it goes.

Hope these thoughts help at least a few of you. Tune in next week for more.

Thanks,

A

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